What do you think of this...?

It sounds like you have some kind of depressive disorder, although I'm not exactly sure what. There would have to be a much more thorough analysis to effectively provide an answer, which I doubt could be done on yahoo answers. If you are seriously concerned, I would highly recommend that you see your GP, who in turn can refer you to a psychologist. This psychologist can then either give you online tests or ask you some questions to try to determine what the case is. Make sure you feel comfortable with the psychologist; there is nothing wrong with telling them that you don't feel comfortable talking to them and that you would prefer to see someone else.